Changed blog

Changed my blog over to tumblr. go to http://atthismyheartleaps.tumblr.com/ to find more posts and thoughts.
Blessings

*sip tea* ahhh....

I am currently taking a long sigh of relief as two very stressful weeks from test hell (wherever that is) comes to a wonderful end. I couldn't be happier sipping at my tea while I tell myself how grateful I am to take a night with zero, zip, nada, NO studying of anything. I'm telling you, if Einstein stormed into my dorm room at this very moment, telling me that he knew the equation that was going to change the world, and he needed me to study it with him- I would simply... shut the door in his face. You heard me! Not another ounce of information is going into this brain. Nope, noway! Not another crazy-spelled landmark in the anatomy of our body, not another organic compound chemical property in chemistry, not another theory within the folds of psychology. No more! Instead, and out of spite toward all of these things, I am going to stare aimlessly into my computer screen at a bunch of mindless, completely unmeaningful, hilarious youtube videos. Yep! That'll teach em.
Ahhh... what a glorious feeling.

Thank you God, for lifting burdens off of my shoulders and giving me room to breathe after feeling as if I'm being squeezed between the thickening walls of life. Thank you that I am now stronger, more knowledgable, and better because of the trials that have come my way. Without obstacles within this race, I wouldn't be able to grow as much as you know that I can, and I have faith that you do this on purpose. Humbly, I desire to rise even higher, overcome every bump in the road that I am faced with, and even passing with flying colors; with your help and your strength only, knowing that in the end, its really all about you anyways.

*sip tea*
breathe...
Oh my. God is good.

First Rain

The overwhelming smell of rain hit me as I woke up from an afternoon nap today. The first rain of the year, moistening everything in sight, as a blanket of joy soaking anything that seemed a little thirsty. I couldn't be happier about this weather to say the least. The song I once sang in my childhood days... "Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day..." is one I wouldn't be caught singing now. Something about it gives me such peace. So many thoughts of life are wading through my mind: the stresses of tests are tugging at my skin, the longing for the ones I miss are pulling my heart strings in all directions, the unsettled feeling of living in an environment where I don't feel I belong anymore. All things that I don't have peace about within my soul, but as I smell that sweet aroma of God's gift from the sky, I couldn't be more content. Everything is going to be drenched with this peace soon enough, I know. Until then I will stay in bed sniffing and smiling as my window is wide open, and the sounds of droplets hitting the ledge lull me back to sleep.

Friendship

This last weekend was my best friend Liz's birthday, so me and my other best friend, Shannon, traveled to the land of Fort Collins to celebrate with her. Despite the snowy drive back to the springs today, it was a wonderful weekend and my tired eyes and weak body are the proof of it as I sit here reflecting on the memories we created. It consisted of some dancing, random jokes, slap happy nights, pore strips, weird and uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, a bit of fighting, late breakfasts, mariokart, beautiful night views on a bridge, singing to our favorite songs, birthday cake, and "oh shoot the weekend went to fast" tears at the end. My favorite part though-- the laughter. And there was LOTS of it. Although laughter is a part of every day of my life, there are a select few people in this world who get me laughing to the point of crying, at a state of paralysis, unable to breathe, and coming close to peeing my pants. My best friends are two of these people. It is in these moments that we are rolling around uncontrollably as other people sitting in the room are exchanging odd glances towards each other that I think to myself, "No matter how hard life gets, no matter how many obstacles and challenges that I have to face, as long as I have my best friends in my life, one thing is for sure, I will laugh." This year of experiencing seperation from them due to this silly, unworthwhile thing they describe as getting an education (a.k.a. college), has pushed and pulled our friendship in ways that we never knew it could go. Yet, we have found that it has only brought us closer while making the times that we are able to be together that much more memorable and special. I know this is not the first time that we will experience being far away from each other, and there will be many more times in our lives when our friendship is tested as we go through this journey of life. I am positive that as long as we have the kind of laughter that we have when we're together, we're sure to make it. Thank you God, for giving me the greatest friends in the world, and the moments of uncontrollable laughter that we have together.

Everyday is a favorite day when I'm with my best friends :D

At This.

"At this also my heart trembles, and leaps from its place." Job 37:1
At this...
At the beauty exploding out of every inch of His creation, from the peaking mountains in my window to the waves of the ocean floor.
At the sight of the beloveds rising up to worship their lover.
At the echo of His name on my lips, the lingering of it's presense, as it inscripts onto my heart.
At the whisper of a childs voice and the sweet squeeze around my neck.
At the lightning being cast down by his hands and the thunder roaring from His voice.
At the swift motion of a hummingbirds wings.
At the water being turned to ice by His breathe.
At the fellowship of a close friend as we both awe at our God and sip our simple coffee.
At the drawing of drops of water that turn into rain to refresh my dry face as I dance in the puddles.
At the laughter of a families table, the joy that completes the circle.
At the silence of the beasts in awe of their creator.
At the perfect harmony within the depths of every note, every sound, every beat in music.
At the conversation of a couple who put forth countless moments of dedication and love, as it now shows on their faces within the beauty of the wisdom-filled wrinkles.
At the bright moon so full of mystery and majesty, while also holding the promise that a new day will come soon. 
At the chills of the crisp fall breeze that comes with the crunching sound of tattered leaves.
At the eyes and the arms of a loved one whom you cherish every second you're together, because each second doesn't feel long enough.
At the innocence of a child's artwork sending messages of love and admiration.
At the sendind out of willing people to go to the other side of the Earth, being humbled in order to share the name of Christ to ears who have not heard it.
At the soldiers bowing down before the Lord to recieve full strength through Him and not through anything they have done or will do.
At the generation proclaiming that they do not live by bread alone, but are dependant completely on God in the wilderness and in the promised land.
At the young girl who looks in the mirror and sees what God sees, throwing the make up on the floor in realization.
At the young man who unplugs his computer in surrender to the love of his future wife that will be the essence of true beauty that no screen could ever compare to.
At the dry bones coming together and taking on the flesh and breathe they were made for as they line up for battle.
At the table of communion as we remember the blood that was shed so that we may live without sin, once dead and now alive.
At the pages in His holy word where they are not only words or stories in a book, but they are alive and in me.
At the peace of knowing I am protected under His wings, and when I walk throught the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear none.
At the renewing of His grace, forgiveness, and mercy every morning He chooses to give me breathe.
At His glory, honor, and power forever and ever. Amen.
At this my heart trembles and leaps from its place.
And so much more.

I CANT DO IT BUT GOD CAN!!!

My great friend Alyssa was sharing with me the other day that she was reading about Joseph's story in the bible. One of the great climaxes in the story is in Genesis 41:15-16 when Pharaoh comes to Joseph asking him if he could interpret the dreams that Pharaoh had, hearing that Joseph could understand them and interpret them. Immediately Joseph replies, "It is not in me; GOD will give Pharaoh the answer of peace." Now, Joseph has been through a load. He first endured being betrayed by his brothers as they threw him out to slavery, he was later accused and cast into prison for a crime he was not guilty of, then forgotten for years by the man he had helped while in prison. Here we see Joseph finally catching a break from this horrible streak he's been on. He gets this once in a lifetime chance to make himself look like something great to the ruler of the nation, and he humbly replies, "It is not me." From the beginning he gives God the glory for what he is about to do for Pharaoh. And the funny thing is that Pharaoh doesn't really care who is doing the interpretation, just as long as he can get the answers he needs! So really Josepsh could've just said the simple answer, "Yes, I can do what Pharaoh asks" which is probably the answer that most of us would've given, I know I probably would've. But he doesn't even hesitate to say that it is only God that is giving the answer of peace to Pharaoh, he himself is doing done of the work, he is just the vessel that God is working through. This is a picture of absolute humility to me. Joseph makes the choice to make God look the greatest in this situation all the while his pride doesn't have the chance to get any bigger. Humility. This challenges my own sense of pride and humility as I am going about doing things for other people. Do I constantly act as just the vessel that God is working through? Or do I choose to do these things or act this way for the eyes to be shifted towards myself? What if every time I am asked to do something or even willingly volunteer myself to do it, instead of only giving the obvious answer of "yes, I will do it," giving intead the answer of "it is not me. It is God who can do it." So the next time my mom asks me to do the dishes or clean my room, I'm going to come back with a loud "I CANT DO IT BUT GOD CAN!!!" I wonder what her reaction will be :p

START

So what's with this blogging thing anyways? I ask myself as I sit here in my empty dorm room. Do people really want to listen to MY life? Hear about MY story? Put up with my blabbing? I mean the events of my everyday aren't the most exciting thing to listen to I am sure. I probably wouldn't take the time out of my day to read this chick's words. See, I'm a full time student for nursing school, I have a wonderful family whom I adore, friends who are always here for me to laugh with, and an awesome God who gives me breath each day I wake up in my shafty little dorm room. BUT there is a bigger point. There is much more to this life than what I do every day. It's the story that I am a part of that is much much bigger than me just going to school and working as much as I can and interacting with the people I love. It's a story that is composed of an amazing God who created all of us to live and move and love FOR HIM. A story that ends in victory and with a beautiful everlasting promise. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that although I have no idea who is going to read my blog or if anyone will be even remotely interested in what I decide to say, I am happy to START one so that I can reflect the bigger story that I am a part of. Not the small, silly story of my little speck of life. Thank you for listening. Hopefully you can get a glimpse of the more important thing that is going on among all of us.